


Transformation

by schrodingersgender



Category: Exit/Corners (Visual Novel)
Genre: Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24901276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schrodingersgender/pseuds/schrodingersgender
Summary: A character study of Ink Greer and his transgender journey.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Transformation

Unlike others, Ink actually doesn’t remember feeling like anything but a girl during his childhood. Maybe he had more pressing issues to worry about (like when the latest episode of Lizzie McGuire came out or how to convince his parents to get him moon shoes), but he thinks those feelings probably started sometime after he turned 15. He remembers, specifically, one day he was scrolling through the internet and saw a video of a young man’s transition. Something in him yearned for that too, so he ran to the bathroom. Looking at himself in the mirror, he put his hair up into a kind of bob, then pulled it up and up until something clicked. He saw himself as a man for the first time.

That day, he wrote in his journal: “I think I might be a boy. Transgender. I don’t know a lot about it, andI know it’s gonna be… really, really hard, but I think I need to go through with it, because I need to be as happy as I can be. And staring at that reflection of myself, with the short hair, I felt a kind of happiness I never thought I could feel.”

It was a few months of uneasiness until he got the courage to ask his parents for a haircut. They pretended not to care, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see his mother cry when the big cut came. He ignored it. As he felt the tickle of the electric razor on the side of his head, he smiled.

His teenage years were hard. Depression, anxiety, and dysphoria crowded his mind everyday. But it was those glimpses in the mirror, the feeling of his flattened chest as he binded, and the accidental “yes, sir”’s that made it all worth it. He knew it was going to get better. One day, he’d look back at the bad days and be grateful he got through them.

It wasn’t until he was 17 that he found the right name, Ink. He’d gone through a bit of trial and error, first keeping his last name, then going through a few other names before he found the right one. But when he did, he knew it was the right one. It called him.

Even before he moved out, he was starting to save money for top surgery. Of course, he didn’t tell his parents that. He just told them it was emergency money. _This counts as an emergency,_ he joked with himself. When he turned 18, he made a Gofundme, got a job, and took art commissions, did everything he could to get the money. And when that last dollar fell into place, he couldn’t help but screaming. _Finally_ , he thought, _I knew it was going to get better._

When he woke up after surgery, he felt for his chest. He didn’t feel his touch, of course, but he could feel the change. He couldn’t help but cry when he saw himself in the hospital bathroom mirror. It was like when he saw himself with short hair for the first time, a realization of who he really was meant to be. When he left the hospital, he went to get some iced coffee. 

“What’s your name, sir?”

“Ink.” He said with determination. He always loved his name, but he always felt nervous using it. But now… now it felt like he could really own it. He knew, of course, that he had always been a real man. But in the back of his mind, his inner demons still pointed out his body like evidence refuting his claim. Now, however, there was one less thing to use against him. 

Once he got into college, he felt free. Free to be who he really was. Free from who people thought he was. Now, he could introduce himself as who he really was, Ink Greer, a young man and student at BBU. 

And so it went.

“Hey! I’m Sean Ward. What’s your name?”

His smile reached from cheek to cheek, his hands shook with excitement. Finally, someone who would know him as he was. “Ink. My name’s Ink Greer.”


End file.
